Things I Don’t Get

Friday, November 20, 2009
Gilroy Martini

Friday, November 20, 2009
Fifty-Fifty (Gin) Martini

I realized belatedly that the Gilroy would probably do well being called a “New Moon” Martini (since the movie came out today and I tried it today) – it features garlic juice and a garlic-stuffed olive, just right for keeping those pesky vampires, and just about anyone else, at arms’ length.  I confess, though, the whole Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse/Whatever phenomenon is one of those things that just has no appeal to me at all.  Maybe it’s because I’m old enough to be the mother of all the male stars in the movies, or because I don’t have a daughter.  Sue took her daughter to the opening of New Moon last night.  I think I would have needed a martini in the movie theater to get through that experience.  Okay, I didn’t read the books and had no interest in them, and Robert Pattinson had more appeal for me as Cedric in the Harry Potter movie, namely because he got killed off in that.  Guy always looks like he needs a) a tan, b) an eyebrow wax, and c) a haircut.  For starters.  Okay, I know he’s supposed to look all ghostly and pale because he plays a vampire, so I’ll forgive the tan.  And for Christ’s sakes, hook up with a razor once in awhile too.  WTF is that stuff on his jawline?  The previews of the latest movie hold zero appeal for me because I find myself wondering:  What do these people do all day?  Doesn’t the human chick (Bella) have to go to school?  Or if she’s graduated, oh, I don’t know, maybe find a job?  Or does she just (apparently) hang out in creepy forests all day and mope and wait for the next supernatural creature to come along?  Don’t her parent(s) worry about where she is?  Honestly, what is this country coming to? 

If I were a vampire and were a hundred or two hundred years old, you can sure as shit bet I’d find something else to do with myself other than hang out at a high school  Frankly, that seems kind of pervy to me.  It’s like, let’s see, I’ll never die and can do anything I want, and I assume my long-term investments are really starting to pay off by now, my food bills are pretty low, so, oh, yeah, I won’t bother with traveling around the world and seeing the sights, I’ll just hang out and repeat the worst years of my life over and over again.  Yes!  That will be fun!  The only thing more sucky would be to repeat junior high ad nauseum.  A few days of that and you’d find me walking out in the morning sunlight and waiting to vaporize.

Next thing I don’t get, which has nothing to do with New Moon or martinis but just because I feel like ranting about it:  The Black Eyed Peas.  Okay, their music is cool.  Not really my style but I’ve heard worse. and I’m probably just getting too old to appreciate hip-hop.  I think Fergie looks better as a blonde and with more clothes on.  She seems like a nice woman, I had no idea she was a part owner of the Miami Dolphins, and I can’t fault her taste in Josh Duhamel.  And what’s with the guys in the band with names like and  How do you even pronounce the second one?  I’m sure the folks at the DMV must just love them.  My idea is I’m going to start my own band called The Hand Shucked Corn, get all tarted up and wear lingerie half the time, and have a couple of band members named what.the.fuck and im.a.douchebag.  And we’ll see what the DMV thinks about those names.  Or the social security office.

Which brings me to the evening’s cocktails.  Not sure I quite get the appeal of either of these.  The Gilroy is 6 parts buffalo grass vodka (yes, I am now the proud owner of some, yet another reason I have no room in my freezer for a Thanksgiving turkey), 2 parts dry vermouth, 2 drops garlic juice, and a garlic-stuffed olive.  I have a jar of that fresh chopped garlic in my fridge, so I figured a couple drops off of that counts as garlic juice, and I usually have a jar of garlic-stuffed (and bleu-cheese, almond, jalapeno, pimento, etc.-stuffed) olives in the fridge, so I’m good there.  What prompts someone to mix up a martini and add garlic juice to it is beyond me.  Probably the same kind of logic that makes hundred-year old vampires want to hang out in high school over and over again. 

The verdict on this one?  Mixed.  I think I like the buffalo grass vodka.  I know there is at least one more drink in the book calling for it so I’ll have to see how that one goes.  Not sure if I like the garlic juice in there.  You wouldn’t think a couple of drops would make a difference, but garlic tends to be pretty strong.  It’s an interesting taste that I really can’t put a finger on, like a regular martini but with (pardon the expression) a “bite” to it.  I don’t know that I’d have it again, or maybe I’d have it without the garlic juice, which I guess would no longer make it a Gilroy.  Ha!  And for a change, I assume the name must come from the Gilroy Garlic festival, so I can be content in knowing the origins of a martini name for once.  I’m sure someone there decided that since they make garlic ice cream and garlic just-about-everything-else for the festival, why not a garlic martini?  I’d give this a three star rating. 

As for the fifty-fifty, I think my experience was similar to Sue’s with the vodka variety.  Mine was 4 parts gin, 4 parts dry vermouth, cocktail olive for garnish.  This also had a bit of an old school taste to it, like a Manhattan.  It was good.  Not quite a 4-star but I’ll give it a 3.75, and for something with gin, I liked it.  It must just be the vodka with lots of vermouth combo that I’m not crazy about.



~ by rachelroust on November 21, 2009.

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