Rudyard Kipling Walks Into a Bar

December 9, 2009


If you can shake up a martini when your kids
Are making you want to hit the skids
If you can find the Bombay Sapphire in the fridge
You’ve got the shaker, but where is the damn lid?
If you can shake and not have your hand freeze
Or, while shaking, not hit your cocktail glass
Or, while pouring, not scream at kids who tease
And yet try not to make thyself look like an ass 

If you can drink, and not make drinking your master
If you can sip, and not make sipping a game
If you can taste, without wanting to drink faster
And blog your thoughts before forgetting your name
If you can recognize the difference in vermouths
Stored in your cupboard with no room for more
Or admit you hate Pernod, that’s the truth
And you also find Campari a bit of a bore

If you can write one entry of all your evening’s martinis
And complete it before the stroke of midnight
And admit your (writing) magic is far from Houdini’s
And post it anyway, rarely feeling it’s right
If you can remember what you drank a week ago
To commiserate your long day with your cats
And so deal your backlog of blogging another blow
Except for the interruption of your kids being brats

If you can drink a Negroni and yet rate it a two
Or know that someone must like Campari with gin
If adding sweet vermouth still makes it a vile brew
If an orange twist still doesn’t make you grin
If you can fill the unforgiving shaker without inhibit
With 2 parts, 4 parts, and then one
Yours is the cocktail and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – your post is now done!



~ by rachelroust on December 10, 2009.

3 Responses to “Rudyard Kipling Walks Into a Bar”

  1. Clap, clap! Very nice.

  2. Only you could pervert a classic. Tasteful if not artful. Imbibe and be sated.

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